The Boss is an Idiot

Publication Time

2005-05-18T08:33:00.000-07:00

So, it's weekly corporate newsletter publishing time. Some articles are new and some articles are the same old items yet again. Where does the boss dig these nuggets up from?

Every time the corporate blah is delivered to my inbox, to be QA'd, edited, published and electronically distributed to the worldwide email list, I use my executive editorial powers and years of experience to remind the boss that he has no experience, no skills and no idea what he's doing. And yet he persists in overriding my authority and telling me what's works best, even though there is absolutely no evidence and common sense indicates otherwise.

For example;

Corporate Newsletter #101, article #2 - The boss cuts & pastes a chunk of text from the corporate intranet to the newsletter template, as an introduction to the full intranet article... It is revised, edited, proof-read by my team and then happily signed off by the boss.

Corporate Newsletter #121, article #1 - is the above-mentioned article #2 from corporate newsletter #101 that proved so popular he wishes to use it again; so the boss cuts & pastes the same chunk of text from the corporate intranet to the newsletter template, rather than the revised, updated, edited, and proof-read version he signed off last time.

Corporate Newsletter #131, article #5 - is the above-mentioned article #2 from corporate newsletter #101, and the very same article #1 from corporate newsletter #121, that once again proved so popular he wishes to use it for a third time! So the boss cuts & pastes the same original chunk of text from the corporate intranet to the newsletter template, rather than the version that was revised, updated, edited, and proof-read and signed off TWICE.

You get the picture! It doesn't matter how many times you tell him, he just doesn't get it. Goddamnit, he is such an idiot.

VPN Gateway

2005-05-10T09:33:00.000-07:00

Our IT service provider suggested we have a VPN gateway so we could access the company servers remotely. A good idea for the sales team to hit the road, log-in, do all their reporting (or whatever it is sales people pretend to do with their laptops) and handy for us web guys, except that we're always stuck in the damn office!

We never really used the VPN gateway but it was there.

And then, 6 months later, when our IT service provider performed a network security assessment they deemed the VPN gateway a security risk, a potential breach of our network and so it got canned.

Who had the executive decision on this? Yep, that's correct, the boss. What an idiot.

A Reluctance to use common tools

2005-05-04T14:55:00.000-07:00

The boss was working on a Word Document.
It was OK until he needed to organise a table.

Figures.
Rows.
Columns.

Yes, a table, that'll be the one.

Boss:"How do you do this?"
Me:"How do you put these figures into a table?"
Boss:"Yes, how do you put these figures in a table?"
Me:"In the Word toolbar go to 'Table>Insert>Table' and then tell it how many rows & columns then cut & paste your data into the new table. Easy as that"
Boss:"Show Me"
Me:"I've just told you, it's in the toolbar"
Boss:"Show Me"

Despairing Worker leans across desk, takes mouse and points to 'Table>Insert>Table' in toolbar

Me:"There you go, just as I said - 'Table>Insert>Table' "
Boss:"Do it"
Me:"I beg your pardon?"
Boss:"Can you do that for me?"
Me:"I can, but I've just shown you; it's dead easy, do it yourself"
Boss:"No, you do it"

Despairing Worker is offered the bosses idiot chair whilst the boss goes off to waste someone else's time; maybe he can ask one of the programmers to sweep the floor, get a project manager to fetch him lunch or even have an accountant make him a cup of coffee and waste their time & skillsets too?

The boss is such an idiot.

False Impressions

2005-04-27T08:30:00.000-07:00

The company website has seen a drop in traffic in the last few weeks and a meeting to discuss possible traffic-boosting strategies was called.

Seeing as traffic equals page impressions and page impressions relate to revenue from advertisers; more content is needed, or better, well-written content, or maybe a viral marketing campaign. That should help attract the visitors.

But no; at every suggestion, the boss turned his nose up. That sneer that only bosses can do. They were all good, simple ideas and yet nothing seemed to offer him the "quick hit" he required to bolster flagging site traffic.

So, late on yesterday, the boss sat at his desk and was clicking his mouse button. With regularity. Alarmingly robotic regularity. Every 5 seconds he would click his mouse. This went on for 10 minutes so investigation was called for. The filing cabinet adjacent to his desk was good cover for a still-distant, yet better view.

It looked like he was clicking on the exact same "next" link on one of the site's dynamic pages. Neither his hand, nor the mouse moved, except to click the mouse button on the same link. Every 5 seconds.

This went on for nearly an hour.

The company website stats were checked and, hey-presto, there's traffic again. Same IP address, same dynamic page, one click, every 5 seconds - that's 12 an hour for over 55 minutes.

He gets paid far too much to do that - the boss is an idiot.

Lucky that's just impressions and not click-throughs. Yet.

Cut & Paste

2005-04-20T07:01:00.000-07:00

When asked by the design agency to provide content for the website, the boss asked how?

The design agency suggested he cut & paste the information and send it to them in a folder.

When the design agency recieved an arch lever folder, with the content cut with scissors and pasted onto individual pages, like a scrap-book, they didn't realise he'd take cut & paste so literally.